So I messaged him. On a Saturday night. I remember feeling anxious waiting to see how he would respond. I saw that he had recently moved to my city, on military orders. I sent him a quick message welcoming him and hoping that he would enjoy his stay here. Something short and sweet that would open the door.

He replied a few minutes later, thanking me for the kind words. We messaged online throughout the evening. The next day, Sunday night, I offered my phone number because the long back and forth, when online dating, always frustrated me to no end. I wanted to get straight to the point – are you interested in exchanging numbers? We exchanged numbers, and he sent a text right away. Give me an inch – and I’ll take a mile lol. So I took it further. I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone so we could talk in real time. To my surprise, he also agreed!

I enjoyed our conversation. We talked about everything under the sun: marriage, the future, gender roles, his children, religion, where I lived, where he was from (he received relocation orders from the military – to move to my city)and childhood memories. Oddly, we discovered, we both moved (I back to my hometown after my breakup and he on orders) around the same time. Overall, it was an easy, fun, free flowing conversation. I had to admit; I misjudged him. He had so much depth and knowledge. Very wise and non judgemental.  The more we talked, the more attracted I became to him. I liked him a lot more than the other men I was casually dating. But this scared me. I had already placed him in the fun box and I didn’t want to let him out of this box. I didn’t want to get my hopes up just to become disappointed. I enjoyed being in control. Not being emotionally attached to anyone. I wasn’t ready for that kind of connection. But again, something kept pulling me back to him.

The following morning, he sent me a text, explaining that he enjoyed our conversation last night. I replied that afternoon; that I also felt the same. We continued to exchange texts throughout the day (something that went against my dating rule: don’t appear overly eager/excited). I wanted to play it cool – but something kept attracting me – wanting to find out more about this guy.

I eventually asked for a picture that afternoon while we were texting. To be fair, I sent one while at work as well – just in the bathroom (don’t judge me lol). When his picture came through, all I could do was just stare. His eyes looked eerily familiar. It was almost as if there was a distant memory I couldn’t pinpoint. I felt as if we had met before (other than yesterday online) but where, was my question? I searched my mind thinking of all the places and events where we could have met: Did we have a fling in college, maybe we chatted online before, or maybe as kids. But I kept dismissing these questions, all because he grew up in an entirely different city and state. However, I thought, well the military is very mobile, there’s a possibility we could have ran into each other. I really felt as if I remembered him.

I guess, I was thinking a little too long, because he sent me a text, “you still there?” I wondered for a few more minutes if I should ask him if we met before? Maybe he knew something I didn’t and could recall where.

So I did.

I responded, “hey… haven’t we met before?”