What do you mean, who are you? He had asked. I stared back at him with thee most serious expression that I could muster. I was so very serious. His energy, his voice, his laugh, everything seemed so familiar. He replied, I’m me…what do you mean? Call me weird, but I remember looking at him and the question, you don’t remember? popped into my mind. By this time, I knew I had lost it. I had to let the cat out of the bag. I told him, what was going on in my mind. How it feels as if we have previously met and that I could not understand why I felt this way. Surprisingly, he actually understood! He let me know that he felt that familiarity too. But why was he so cool about it? Did it not cause him to question his sanity? I didn’t believe him. I thought, maybe he was just agreeing with me – to gain some cool points lol. We talked some more before finally ending the video call for the night. My mind was reeling with all sorts of questions. I remember just laying in bed thinking to myself, what just happened? Who was this dude?! Eventually, I fell asleep.
I remember waking up to use the bathroom. Once I came back, though, I had a strong urge to do a google search. It was still pretty dark out – I turned to look at the clock.
There I was, 3 o’clock in the morning, with my laptop on my bed – googling his name. Yep, I did that! Some articles popped up about him (one about a scholarship and the other with his work), and of course, Facebook. As nosy as I am – I was surprised I didn’t Facebook snoop. Instead, I typed in the meaning of his name. BAM!! Yes, of course now this was making some sense! Long story short, he has the same name (different spelling – one letter changed – of another ancient Egyptian god). I was definitely familiar with this Egyptian god, in particular. This was getting good. It only became a little eerie, when I saw a photo of the ancient Egyptian god. My goodness it was like they were identical twins! I couldn’t believe what the heck I was seeing! I dug in deeper, feeling like Inspector Gadget. I wouldn’t stop until, I could make sense of this.
I wanted to know if there was any correlation between his name and the tattoo that stood out to me, my name and my tattoo. Grabbing a pen and paper, I drew four columns – His Name/His Tattoo, My Name/My Tattoo. I was on to something – I felt it. What that something was, I didn’t know at that time.
My name means love. So when I combined their meanings, I came up with two possible combinations: Love of God/God’s Hidden Love. I was shocked and amazed all at the same time. Why was I led to this? This was not like me. Never before, have I ever felt a need to search the meaning of a guy’s name! What was I doing?
By the time I finished – it was around four something. I set my alarm for five thirty. I wanted to share with him what I discovered. The only problem was, how do you tell someone you just met – you did ALL of this? My mind was sending me the STOP alert – red flashing lights: He could use this and take advantage of the fact that you like him – a lot. I didn’t want him to know, how much I was feeling him. But with anything in life, I took a chance – a risk that could go either way.
At 5:30 in the morning I sent him the text – The answer is in our names/tattoos.